JOURNEY TO IXTLAN

這是非常治癒的一張專輯，柔和磁性的嗓音加上舒適的伴奏，吉他的輕快小提琴的悠揚交織出和煦的樂曲。聽著聽著讓我不由得期望，教會哪天也能把歌曲改得和美些，每次到高音的部分我都默默對嘴，聽著附近破音的高音汗顏。

推薦曲目：

激情高亢的背後隱藏著柔軟孤獨，樂曲中恰到好處添加炫麗的技巧，營造氣氛又不顯嘈雜，大提琴溫潤的伴奏與人聲混音像是低聲傾訴秘密，拼湊抽象而模糊的故事。



New York City band Lucinda Black Bear released “Knives”, a second full-length CD of what NPR Music calls their “carefully written folk rock with stunning sonic arrangements” on Tuesday, November 2nd.

The lead single, the CD’s title track, was released on September 27. The follow-up to 2007’s critically-acclaimed “capo my heart and other bear songs”, “Knives” finds the band fleshing out the indie folk of its debut, adding more lush, sweeping string arrangements and broader orchestral scope. While “capo” was praised for its “rich and haunting sonic atmospheres” (Paste) and “dark, country-inflected pop melodies” (Time Out New York), “Knives” ups the ante with a soulful fusion of cellos, feedback, loops, pianos, drums and oddly tuned guitars. Once likened to the bare-bones acoustic Americana style of Elliott Smith, the band’s plaintive and often melancholic songs get some meat added to their bones on “Knives”, which is at times reminiscent of the music of Arcade Fire.

On “Knives”, lead singer-songwriter and guitarist Christian Gibbs and bandmates—percussionist Kristin Mueller, cellist Chad Hammer and bassist Mike Cohen—hone their craftsmanship. (Live, the band is often joined by violinist and string arranger Gillian Rivers). The band was conceived in the mid-aughts, when Gibbs decided he needed more instrumentation on his piano-guitar based, loop laden songs. He set out to find like-minded musicians in the New York music scene and brought his favorite four together for a rehearsal one night. By all accounts, the band coalesced that first night and was christened Lucinda Black Bear soon thereafter. Ever since then, the four collaborate on all musical arrangements together, producing ethereal, layered sounds for all to hear.

賈誼（前200年－前168年），西漢洛陽（今河南省洛陽市）人。由於當過長沙王太傅，故世稱賈太傅、賈生、賈長沙。漢朝著名的思想家、文學家。其政論文《過秦論》、《論積貯疏》、《治安策》等。

Marissa Nadler的歌聲輕靈，偶爾像是沒有重力的音符，又時而透出淺淺的悲傷，我喜歡她那讓人有些昏昏欲睡的嗓音。
Marissa Nadler (born 5 April) is an American dream-folk musician and singer/songwriter. She plays six string guitar, 12 string guitar, piano, ukelele, banjo, and voice. Nadler studied painting at the Rhode Island School of Design, where she began her performing career after writing songs for many years. Her most recent record was self-released on June 14th, 2011. A winter record, Rain Arrangement, will follow.

Nadler writes strange, yet classic, melancholy songs. Her voice is often bathed in a wash of reverb and space echo and creates a ghostly, atmospheric feeling to the music.

She has American Gothic leanings; her songs often take place in an imagined, idealistic time with a cast of characters of her own creation. Her links to American Gothic are reinforced by “Annabelle Lee”, the last song on her debut album, Ballads of Living and Dying, which puts the poem of the same title by Edgar Allan Poe to a musical backing. Singing in a haunting mezzo-soprano, the foundation of her songs are her delicate 6-string acoustic guitar, often accompanied by variety of instruments, including electric guitar, theramin, and piano. Marissa Nadler is continuously thought of as a prolific and thoughtful musician, and it seems that a neverending flow of beautiful songs pours from her fingers and voice.

我對自己的空虛感到寒冷，對於一直在追求虛幻言詞的自己感到無比厭煩。那是空虛的自己。我欲往何方？這空虛又淺薄的影子愈往何處？——坂口安吾

許是什麼也做不了，我於是什麼也不做，闔上眼，我席坐在軟墊上。矮桌旁，紊亂而秩序灑滿著書籍，它堆疊起我生命的高度，卻也如我的生命散成一盤沙。黑暗中，我什麼也看不見，冥想，我喜歡置身在大自然，草原樹木植物的芬芳，野獸帶著淡淡血腥的體味，危險卻又平和，仔細在意識中刻畫出一個世界，一個不曾經歷過的原始的想像的世界，但今天我到不了，像是它不曾存在，不曾予諾我踏足，心有些亂，下意識地，無法以理智駕馭。

鋪開宣紙，提起毛筆，扭開墨水罐，一滴滴墨汁從瓶口滑落，飽滿筆毛，我抬起手腕，僵著，一片紙上空白像我的腦袋，該從哪裡下筆？我在思考什麼？我想表達什麼？突然，我激動地質問自己，但思路像被剪成一段又一段無意義的線條，它存在著靈魂卻死亡，所有的詞彙被掏空，原來，現在，我的心貧窮得什麼也不剩。

我回想過去的自己。十三歲的我，在日記上寫過堅定如宣誓般的話：放棄思索與探究如同放棄生命與靈魂。這五年中我磨掉了多少信念，從甚麼時候開始忘記時時刻刻的質疑，什麼時候開始犯了習慣性接受與相信的低級錯誤，我像個批著成熟外表的年幼稚子，愚蠢無知被動接受來自環境的一切，接受自己被動的地位，我被安逸磨掉太多敏銳。

重新閱讀近期書寫的文字，華美的詞藻嚴謹的排列，像是不堪一擊忘記注入靈魂的殘次品，冷漠凝視，幾乎不猶豫地，我殺死自己的孩子，恐懼在我內心凝成，一對狡猾猥瑣的眼珠似要把我剝光侵犯我的內心，我會變成什麼樣子？耳邊傳來孩子們的悲鳴，恐懼，叫囂，它們質問著：你要拋棄我們嗎？因為我們不是你需要的思想。摀住雙耳，我屈膝將臉孔埋入緊緊蜷縮自己，我自私而冷酷，理智又矛盾，我不齒希臘之神創造人類的兒戲，我何嘗又不是。

我需要沉澱與自己磨合，我需要孤獨思索和整理自己，不知不覺，我竟隨波逐流浸淫在浮華的塵世，我害怕同化，失去自我，我害怕，我不再害怕。

原來我之前說不在意改變生活不過回到過去罷了，只是虛偽的逞能，在多久之前我開始失去自己，放任那些顧忌蠶食我的思想我的靈魂，回想起來，我渾身發冷，一陣後怕，如果我沒有及時省悟？還好，一切來得及，像是突然發現地圖拿反只是繞了點遠路，而不是拿錯地圖失去方向地迷路，感謝，我的信仰。

人與人之間相處的度，有時候並不是那麼好把握的一個東西。

事實上，我並不是很習慣與人過於親近，對我來說，不熟悉的人無論是叫對方的暱稱或者讓對方稱呼自己都是有些彆扭的一件事，所以，我總是選擇保持微笑以示親切，客氣而不至於疏離的相處是最美好的，肢體碰觸請不要過來。

這兩年其實已經很少接觸相近年齡層的對象，這讓我有些排斥過於熱情親暱的相處模式，突然有種：原來這個年紀的人際關係不需要步步為營的感慨。又覺得，好像已經脫離這個階段許久了。

二十天，適應期也差不多告一個段落。我覺得，自己現在上課的心態與過去有很大的不同，讓我不會想去融入班級團體，像是上大型補習班那樣的感覺，只是學習知識上完課就走人，看到周遭同學對未來的憧憬熱忱總會帶給我種莫名的感慨，似乎很久以前也經歷過這樣的心情，只是眼前目標已經很明確，有計畫性地在實踐，目標在確定後，一路走下去有時候拼的已經不是熱情憧憬，而是毅力堅持跟不認輸的決心。我發現很多人現在所抱持的都是夢想而非目標，不是說不好，只是大多數人都還沒想到實踐的方式，若是完全沒有概念的夢想充其量只能是空談。

但無論如何，現下最重視的還是健康，老實說這幾週上下來，對於能否順利畢業真的讓人不是那麼有把握，可是走到這裡也已經沒有什麼轉圜的餘地了，只能靠毅力堅持下去，值得慶幸的是，我覺得自己心態一直都是好的，早已過了憤世嫉俗的年紀，現在病痛對我來說就是PART OF MY LIFE，這句話並不是消極或者博取同情之類的，只是單純Feeling的陳述，很享受生活忙碌的充實感，或許疲憊或許緊張或許睡眠不足眼皮直打架，但這樣的Daily life卻都是值得珍惜的小確幸。

另外，我開了一個yam blog主要是手機照片+En diary。我發現，我的寫作真是糟糕到臨界點，會聽會說會讀與會寫是兩個不同的次元，難怪聽說讀寫寫要放最後面Orz總之，這個方法先嘗試看看，希望至少一年裡能有成效，當然，前提是我得努力使自己堅持下去，預祝我毅力夠堅定。

Cy Colman was born Seymour Kaufman on June 14, 1929, in New York City to Eastern European Jewish parents, and was raised in the Bronx. His mother, Ida (née Prizent) was an apartment landlady and his father was a brickmason. He was a child prodigy who gave piano recitals at Steinway Hall, Town Hall, and Carnegie Hall between the ages of six and nine. Before beginning his fabled Broadway career, he led the Cy Coleman Trio, which made many recordings and was a much-in-demand club attraction.

Despite the early classical and jazz success, he decided to build a career in popular music. His first collaborator was Joseph Allen McCarthy (together they wrote a song called The Riviera), but his most successful early partnership, albeit a turbulent one, was with Carolyn Leigh. The pair wrote many pop hits, including Witchcraft and The Best Is Yet To Come.

One of his instrumentals, “Playboy’s Theme,” became the signature music of the regular TV shows and specials presented by Playboy, and remains synonymous with the magazine and its creator, Hugh Hefner.

Coleman’s winning streak as a Broadway composer began when the team collaborated on Wildcat (1960), which marked the Broadway debut of comedienne Lucille Ball. The score included the hit tune “Hey Look Me Over”. When Ball was unable to cope with the rigors of eight performances a week, she left the cast, and the show soon folded. Up next for the two was Little Me, with a book by Neil Simon based on the novel by Patrick Dennis (Auntie Mame). The show introduced Real Live Girl and I’ve Got Your Number, which became popular standards.